Even If Death Tear Us Apart
by Lavince
Summary: Allen's life was messed up, but that would change when he met a lovely redheaded boy. Rated T for language, violence - more likely torture -, and tragedy. Laven.
1. Lonesome

_Hi everyone. I'm here uploading a Laven story. I'm reading a lot of them actually, and felt like writing one. I had the idea for this plot when I was watching a video clip by Spice Girls (pretty gay, I know, but it's not my fault), and after listening to a certain song, which you're gonna read the lyrics in one of this story's chapters. This is my first fic, and I hope you like it :D_

_Disclaimer: I don't own -Man. This is sad.  
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><p>Summary: Allen's life was messed up since the day he has born. He was considering the idea of killing himself after things turned out to be too painful. But when he thought everything was over, he met a lovely redhead. Since then, his life would change drastically.<p>

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><p>EVEN IF DEATH TEAR US APART<p>

Chapter 1: Lonesome

Life isn't like a fairy tail. I should've have kept that in mind already. Although some facts about me just betrayed reality.

It was rainy today, an unusual sight at the village I lived in. Rain was the worst climate phenomenon ever, at least for me, as it remembered me of my sorrowful past.

Yeah, at a rainy day like this, it happened. I was just seven and so unprepared to what I passed through that night. Why Mana had to die? Why he had to leave me alone? Why God took him away from me, since I had already suffered enough? I know I was being selfish, but wasn't I allowed to, just a little?

Well, I guess not.

Even though I knew a freak like me didn't deserve to be wishing, there I was, wishing. Wishing that someday I would wake up, and realize that all my life until now was just a life-long nightmare. That my arm would be normal. That my hair, now snow white, would go back to its normal color, and I would be a brunette again. That the odd-shaped scar on my face would disappear. But most of all, I wish someone would appear. Someone who would comfort me in life.

Well, maybe it was better to comfort my stomach first, since it was making itself known. But, I would have to be sure not to be too noisy, as Master was home. Another reason why I hated rainy days. Since he wouldn't go outside, mumbling something about getting soaked (wasn't it obvious?), he just ordered that his actual "girlfriend" (bitch) come to our house. And now I have to bear they being all lemon and "lovely" and cheesy and nasty all night long. Christ, I was only fifteen now, so why my virgin ears had to listen to their moans of pleasure? Whatever, it's not like this wasn't normal. Since I was living with Master for eight years now, I didn't care about it anymore. But seriously, he must know when to quit.

So I directed myself to our refrigerator at the kitchen. When I opened it, I couldn't help but frown at the sight. I should've expected it from Master. Of course it was more important to spend OUR money in women and beers rather than food, I remembered sarcastically.

But no use complaining, he will suffer for it later.

I just turned to the cookie pot that was in my left. Hoping that there would be a cookie, waiting patiently to be happily ate.

Then, me and my stomach would be happy too. I opened the pot just to see a bunch of them cookies, waiting for me. I quickly ate them all. Now satisfied, thoughts of going outside began to wander around in my mind.

"Damn, this feeling again?" I mumbled to myself.

Feelings of going outside in a rainy day never turned out to be something good. When I did so 8 years ago, I've burned up in resentment. The reason I thought of going outside? Hm, I really don't know. I just felt like it.

I walked towards the living room and glanced up at the window. The rain wasn't angry this time. It was calm, like someone's crying was the reason behind it.

I saw people running outside in the rain. One of them was holding an umbrella and made his way to the now identified girl, that was soaked. He took her hand and put her below the umbrella. I saw a smile making its way through her face as she hugged the grown up man.

"So this is what a family looks like? Is this what love looks like?" I asked to no one in particular.

Though someone ended up answering me, much to my disgust.

"Hey, idiot boy, stop acting like a girl." I heard Master yelling from behind me. I turned slowly, looking at him with an annoyed face.

"It's Allen, and you fucking know it!" I screamed.

He looked angry.

"Hey now you bloody brat, who do you think you are?" He shouted at me, his cigarette being hold a little too tightly on his fingers.

"God, I thought I've told you already. I'm Allen Walker! Guess you're too stupid to understand." I replied rudely.

Well, I asked for it. He charged towards me and I couldn't escape his unbelievable strong grip.

"I'm gonna beat the hell out of you, you fucking bastard!" He yelled at me. I was to scared to move, and I already knew what was going to happen. The fear built up more.

"What are you going to do with me?" I shouted, struggling in his strong arms worthlessly.

"I'm gonna give you what you deserve for being a brat." He smirked and unbuttoned my shirt.

"Stop, please! Don't do it to me!" I cried.

"Ain't hearing you, boy." He said, not caring at all.

He pointed his cigarette on my bare chest, and pressed it against various spots on my skin. I started to cry as soon as felt the hot tip burning on me. It hurt SO much!

"Hurting, isn't it?" He then laughed, like he was enjoying the whole situation.

I cried helplessly, my cheeks soaked with tears. My heart filled with pain and anger. When he finally let me go, I curled around myself and resumed sobbing. The pain that the cigarette burns left on my body were too intense. Despite it all, I stood, still crying and shouted at him.

"Damn, I hate you, you demon!" And then, I ran through the door and into the rain, trying to ignore the pain running through my body. The rain felt like a kind of a remedy for me, for its cooler effect on my burning wounds.

After running for what felt like ten minutes, I knelt down on the ground, and embraced myself. My tears were now camouflaged in the rain. Why Mana left me to that bastard?

Despite my burns, I were now feeling too cold.

"I haven't thought life would be so hard to be..." I muttered between my sobs.

No one, really no one came to my rescue. People passed by me, not showing pity or sympathy or concern. They only showed disgust. I could hear them saying "that freak again" or "he only wants attention".

For God's sake, what did I ever do for them to be hated so much? I was always on my own. By myself. I was born, and abandoned. I was adopted and left behind again. Adopted one more time, but I feel like being alone. I didn't choose to be like this. What's the meaning for my life? Did it ever have one? Why?

Why couldn't I die already? It was too much for me.

My vision was going blurred, I was weak. The sound of the rain was starting to fade away.

It was then that that person appeared. I only saw messy locks of red hair and a single emerald eye. Couldn't recognize. The rain seemed to have stopped, so I looked up and saw an orange umbrella above me. Then I heard a male voice.

"Hey buddy, are ya alright?" He asked, a concern tone in his voice.

It was all I remember before fainting.

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><p><em>So, how was it? Was it good? Was it junk? I re~eally want to know what you think about my fic, and thank you for those who read. I'm not confident writing in English yet, because y'know, I'm Brazilian. So, I think there'll be some mistakes. Forgive me for them. I'd like review, to know exactly how you all feel. I accept all them: harsh, cute, lovely, and so on. I want you to tell me my mistakes, ideas, and what you have in mind for this story to grow better, if I'm not asking too much. The second chapter may be a little late..I'm in exam week here in college, and things are gonna be hard. Wish me luck, and I'll be right here after it to upload a new chapter. This is a short chap, I know, but I promise you that they'll get longer. :D Thank you all. :3<em>


	2. A Hint Of Kindness

_Heey, hi people! How are ya doing so far? Here's the chap. It's a little longer than the first one. Hope you like it._

_I want to give my thank you's to YouStillLoveMe and DGrayManFanatic, for being my first reviewers. You're awesome, and I hope I won't let you down with this chapter. Thank you to those who alerted this fic, too._

_There'll be some of Lavi point of view. I'll make it very often, to show the changes of each one's behavior. The italic sentences in the fic are the thoughts of Allen or Lavi._

_So now, to the chap!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own -Man, but I do own this freaking plot._

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><p>EVEN IF DEATH TEAR US APART<p>

Chapter 2: A Hint Of Kindness

Wasn't it raining? Then why everything was suddenly so dark? I could still hear the noise of the raindrops as they kept on falling. And, what was that again? I remember a male voice directing itself to me. Who was it? When I was trying to remember those last moments conscious, the darkness begun lighting up. Still in a rainy day, I looked around and found me in a very familiar little city, although it wasn't the one I lived now. Puddles formed in the ground easily as the rain continued to fall incessantly. I looked over to the nearest puddle, only to find out that I was...younger? Brown hair and no scar? What's going on? Then, it all came forth to me: I was living my past again.

I looked around again, scared. I knew the meaning of all this. Life was playing pranks in me. It was then that I spotted Mana lying on the ground, thick scarlet fluid flooding out of his body, and mixing itself with the rainwater. Blood. Blood that belonged to my stepfather. Tears made its way through my cheeks, as I found myself running unconsciously towards the dead body.

The more I ran, the farther it seemed from me.

"Father! Father! Mana!" I screamed.

And screamed. And cried. And ran.

Nothing seemed to work though. When I started panting heavily, strange people were cornering me from all sides. An angst look in their faces. Then, I felt a kick in my back. Controlling the urge to scream, I fell on my fours, just to earn another kick, this time straight on my jaw. That made me see stars as I began rolling in the pain, too scared to try standing up and running or figuring out why all this was happening again.

A voice snapped me out of my thoughts. An angry voice, of course. Gentle voices were not part of my life anymore.

"It's the monster! Again, he's causing casualties! Now he killed his own stepfather, who was always so good for him!" The voice owner yelled to the other people around me. They begun chatting, the words I have most heard being "monster", "freak", "demon", "kill", and "insignificant". But I was more concerned about the words from before.

_He killed his own stepfather! _I kept on thinking about it, praying that it would be just a joke. Their chatting was becoming louder inside my head, and I wasn't able to listen to my thoughts anymore. My mind was filled with the hatred them fed up for me, and I knew that I was about to break.

It was when I finally awakened. It was a nightmare. The same nightmare that always felt so real. It always left me mortified with horror, and lifeless as a doll. I started crying again, silently this time. I was sobbing, and couldn't help but think that all this was indeed my fault. I just wanted to die now. I haven't even paid attention to the non-familiar house I was in, laying in a tiny yet comfortable couch. I tried to control my tears, to see where I was exactly. It looked like one of the huts that consisted our village. Made of wood and somewhat, neatly decorated with strange objects, that seemed to have historical value. Or not. I didn't want to push my mind that hard, after all it was irrelevant. I was irrelevant. Or so I thought.

I was hiccuping softly now, and noticed movement when those messy red hair were standing right by me. It was the red-haired boy.

"Hey fella, you're awake! Thank goodness, I thought just for a second that ya have passed out." Said redhead nearly squeaked, a wide smile stamped on his features.

Who was him? I don't remember seeing him around town. Not that I really cared. But just now he saved me, I think. At least I should be polite.

"So, how are ya feeling?" The boy asked, looking at me expectantly.

I hesitated, but when I saw that he meant no harm, I answered his question.

"I'm...just feeling a little...dizzy..." I answered, trying to sit up in the couch, just to remember that my chest was burned. Of course the pain made me remember that. "Shit..." I mumbled through clenched teeth.

"Whoa now buddy, don't try to move! Ya have some serious wounds right thee." He said while he was pulling me back, and looking at my bare chest.

Good, he has seen the marks. What he would think of me...

I obliged to his order of being still, and filled up my time analyzing the emerald-eyed boy. He was at least 4 inches taller than me, was equally white-skinned, had the obviously crimson hair buckled up in a messy way, and worn a eye patch that covered his right eye. The reason unknown. His smile was genuine, but it wasn't as wide as I thought it was. It didn't reach his eyes.

He then choose to break the silence.

"I used some ointment for burns on your chest, hope you don't mind a guy like me massaging your chest." He started while scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

I found myself in a loss of words. He has been taking care of me? Was I hearing well?

"O-of course not! Thank you for helping me, actually..." I said, a little shy for my own liking.

"That's no problem at all buddy! I couldn't just leave you be like you was, so being the hero I am, I just carried you over to my place and treated you! Ain't me amazing?" He pounded on his chest proudly.

_He's a little full of himself_, I thought while he was waiting a thumbs up from me. He then frowned.

"I'm not? Really?" He asked with a pout, as if feeling hurt.

I couldn't help but laugh at the carefree boy in front of me. His expression was gold.

"What's so funny, bean sprout?" I frowned angrily at the nickname, and looked up to the redhead. He gestured something like "It wasn't me!", and I looked throughout the room, chasing the one who called me a damn bean sprout. I finally spotted him, and send him death glares. I was Black Allen now.

_Note to self: kill that bastard after recovering from the injuries._

He soon disappeared, mumbling a 'tsc'. And I haven't even had a chance to yell at him, let alone remembering his features.

"Don't let him get you, he's a asshole, right, Yu-cha~an?" The green-eyed boy nearly cried.

I swear I could hear a forehead vein popping somewhere in the hut. Whatever. Hope he got a bleeding out of it.

"Oops, looks like he is now angry." The still unknown boy told me, a sly grin on his face. He then turned to me. "So, what's your name?"

Should I tell him? Well, don't see why not.

"I'm Allen Walker...pleased to meet you...and thank you for helping me back there, Mr...?"

"Name's Lavi Bookman Jr., but just call me Lavi. Nice to meet ya too, and no need for the formalities, alright?" He smiled again, another of those smiles that didn't reach his eyes.

It seemed like that were fake smiles. But why I would care?

"So, I'm at your house?" I asked. He lightened up a little, and hyperactive as a rabbit, he began bouncing in the couch, grinning excitedly.

"Yeah! I live here with Gramps, y'know. We're here to study history, but we actually plan on staying here in this town for a long time, as it's peaceful and far away of where we were back then! It's been almost five years that we're living here now and..."

_Jesus, I just asked one question! Now he started telling me all his life? _I thought, impressed by the fast pace he was telling me all that information.

"...and now we're here to investigate a boy tha..." His story was cut by a direct kick on his face, that made him fly against the wooden wall of the hut. I haven't had enough time to realize what was going on, when a short figure with strange hairdo appeared out of nowhere.

Lavi stood up, a hand in his face in the place where it was hit, and pointing at the aforementioned short figure.

"Hey old panda, what was that for?" He asked, a tad angry, I think?

Just to be hit again, this time by a smack on his head.

"Hey!" Lavi yelped.

The said ...'panda' looked at me briefly and then glared at Lavi.

"Stop talking that much about us. You're supposed to be a bookman, dumb boy."

He then left, as fast as he appeared.

"Someday Gramps will pay me for what he did..." Lavi growled.

"Is this something natural here?" I asked.

He nodded, and I tried to reassure him. "This isn't a privilege of yours, I can assure that to you."

He looked confused. "Whaddya mean with that?"

I hesitated, but then saw no reason in keeping this with me. " Well, you saw the wounds on my chest, haven't you? It was my godfather who made that." I told him.

I saw his terrified expression when I told him that. His jaw slacked, and he was open-mouthed. But then again, why was I telling something so intimate to someone I barely met?

"What a monster! I won't let he do that to you again, I promise!" He cried while charging in and wrapping me up on a tight hug , trying to comfort me, I think.

His skin was warm, and his embrace was so reassuring about what he have said, that for the first time in years, I felt safe, protected. It was strange, though, to feel protected in the arms of a guy, a guy that I have just met, and that I knew nothing about. But the strangest thing was to feel protected in a GUY'S arms. Was I really okay?

I felt my blood rushing over to my cheeks as I burned in an intense and crimson blush. The urge to ask caught me off guard.

"Why did you hug me?" I asked while pushing him to the side, breaking off the hug. He looked straight down to my soul, it seemed, and then, looked at my eyes.

"Because you looked so mortified about a lot of things than just the burns your godfather left on you. Your sadness is noticeable even for those who doesn't pay enough attention on you. I thought a hug would make you feel more comfortable. Looks like it worked a little, as you seemed to be relaxed back then." He told me, his eyes serious, and with no emotions, while I was open-mouthed, unbelieving what I had just heard. About his look now, if I was readable, he wasn't easy even to get a clue of his personality. About that I was pretty sure, because he changed moods rapidly and without warning.

He then grinned slyly. "And also, you look very cute when blushing. Do that more often!" He happily said, like it was a normal thing to say to another guy.

Of course, I blushed even more.

My stomach growled, breaking the awkward silence, to create a more awkward moment. He giggled when my expression fell to a pout. I was already hungry, dammit.

"I'll get you somethin', just wait here." He said, and then left the living room.

I used that time to take a better look at the hut I was. Besides the objects with historical value, there were some paintings on the wall. The hut was a little better than the one I live into, but follows the same type of construction.

_This doesn't matter. _I thought. _It's not like I'm gonna be here again._

I closed my eyes, and tried to rest a little, while my host was in the kitchen doing something for me. He was kind, and kindness was something I wasn't used to anymore. It felt strange.

The last thing I heard was some chit-chat where the red-haired boy was.

Lavi's POV.

_OMG, that growl his stomach gave was monstrous. I had a bad time trying not to laugh at him. _I thought, mentally laughin'. My urge to tease him was high, but I think the time's not suitable. He was suffering, and that was no cool. It's because of that that I hate humankind. Always hurting each other, starting wars, killing, and deceiving. They were all so low. I hated being part of them.

Screw that. I'm gonna to continue living like this 'till forever. It was good to avoid being hurt again.

I opened the refrigerator to pick something to my hungry and wounded silverette damsel that was waiting in my living room.

Come to think of it, his hair was kinda unusual. He seems to be younger than me, yet his hair is white? Or like I thought, silver? It doesn't seemed to be dyed, though. It looked natural enough for me. Another strange thing was his tattoo on the face. Was him punk? Teens these days...

When I finally picked something, closed the refrigerator's door, and turned back, Gramps was there, glaring at me fiercely.

"What's it, old man?" I asked, indifferent.

"Stop acting like someone who has emotion, it annoys me." He said, in an angry tone.

WTF?

"What do you mean by that? I'm not acting like it, you know I'm trying to be good, only because he is wounded and needed help. After it, we're gonna separate. You should have already know my fake emotion very well." I answered.

His look was deeper this time, as examining every inch of my soul.

"Don't try to fool me, idiot apprentice. I could see the hint of kindness you had in your eyes when you looked at him. A hint of pure and real kindness. Also, you started telling him all of our life...are you stupid? Or have you forgotten the code of the bookmen?"

I thought a little about what he said. Was it really true?

"Okay..." was the only thing I could answer for he.

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><p><em>So, second chapter is done. Hope there's no OOCness in Lavi, it's sometimes hard to describe someone that's supposedly without emotions. Also, I suck at describing, I know, lol. I quickly gave up on describing Lavi's home. I can give it a try later. Review, please? I would like ideas for the plot too (: And correct me if I wrote something wrong. Thank you all! :D <em>


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